Who Am I, Really?

Filed under Catherine's Thoughts on Nov 15 11 by

A few months ago, Lauren asked me to send her my bio for the website. I never did—not because I was trying to blow her off but because I didn’t know what to say about myself. I tend to view myself as a pretty normal girl, and a bio on a website for an organization that I’m supposed to be starting—well that bio should make me look qualified, shouldn’t it?

I wondered, “What even makes me think I’m qualified to do this?” So I avoided writing a bio because I didn’t know what to say.

Today, I finally got around to writing it. But when I finished, I couldn’t help but think, “Is this really who I am or just who I wish I was?”

“Catherine is passionate about helping women get connected with their true purpose and most importantly, discovering the truth about who they are and their value.”

Yes, this is my passion but do I live it? A passion should consume you and envelop your life. Is this true of me?

“She is constantly looking for out of the box ways to serve and love the people around her.”

Is this true about me? Does my life scream this message or is it only when I want, when it matches with my agenda?

Recently, You Are REAL columnist, Debi White shared these thoughts on the FEED YOUR STRENGTH blog:

“Sometimes the most damaging voice in our head is our own. We are hypercritical of everything about ourselves, from looks to habits to productivity. How did we get there? One unsupervised thought at a time. It seems there is a gate at the front of our minds and each of us is our own gatekeeper. If the hypercritical thought is allowed access, it enters right in and takes up space…”

How true is it that the most critical and possibly the most damaging voice in our life is our own? In this case, I think this is because I know myself better than everyone else. I know the times I have seen someone in need and chosen to look the other way. I have trouble forgiving myself for the time I was rude to my waitress when she messed up my order. I know the times I have failed to be the person I want to be, the person my bio describes me as. I know! But I also know, when I actually take the time to think about it, that these memories and failures do not reflect who I truly I am. I know, when I actually take the time to think about it, that my passion and my heart outshine those moments when my flawed human nature got the better of me.

Maybe it is time for my “gatekeeper” to step it up. While I am at it, maybe I should hire a cleaning crew to come in and trash all the thoughts that don’t belong, the ones that are just taking up space. Maybe it is time to let go of the failures. Maybe it is time I believe in myself with the same grace, love, and faith that my friends and my Creator believe in me with. Maybe it’s more than just a maybe…

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Catherine Smith
Catherine graduated from Western Carolina University with a degree in Education and has experiencing teaching both elementary and high school students. Catherine is passionate about helping women connect with their true purpose and discover their value. As the Community Relations Director, Catherine manages our outreach projects, events, and relationships with other organizations that support women.
  • Nancy Carvette

    Catherine, you are passionate about helping women realize their true potential and strength! It has been wonderful for me this past year to see you grow in your passion. I am very proud of you.

  • Shirley Weber

    I love your passion for life!! You always seem so full of energy and have a beautiful smile to greet everyone you meet!