What to Look for in a Guy: The Traits You’ll Find On My Wishlist

Filed under Lauren's Thoughts on Feb 14 13 by

Today is Valentine’s Day, and I’m sure that many of you probably have love and relationships on your mind. I decided that this might be a good day to share a little something from my heart —or my diary— on finding the right guy.

I’m not really the kind of person who creates lists of what I want in a future husband. I don’t think it’s possible to foresee everything that you actually need in a significant other, so it seems pointless to try and quantify it when it’s just going to change later. But as I was reading through an old journal, I discovered that five years ago I did, in fact, create a list. Here’s what I wrote:

Ugh, Lord I’m so sick of boys! Don’t get me wrong — I’d love to meet a great guy someday, but I know that right now it just isn’t your time. Please prepare for me a man that loves you with all his heart and is excited to live his life for you. A man whose spiritual fervor is absolutely contagious and whose positive attitude brings me up and draws me to you. A man who is still a kid at heart in that he loves to have fun and is up for anything. Someone who sees beauty in the ordinary and will take long drives with me just to get lost and see new places. Someone who is passionate about the talents you have given him and loves to use them to glorify you. Someone who thinks I’m sexy inside and out. Someone who will serve you by my side, will raise children with me, and will still think I’m beautiful when I’m 85 years old. Lord, I will not settle for anything less than this. You know what I’m attracted to physically, and I’m going to trust you that it doesn’t matter. But Lord, those are my standards, and I will not lower them for anyone. I trust you Father, and I trust your timing. I promise to save myself for the right guy. I thank you that you know what I need even more so than I ever could. I thank you that somewhere out there is a guy that is all of this and more, and I thank you that when the time is right, you will bring him into my life. And Father, I know that when he comes into my life, it will be from you, so I won’t have to worry but will at last be able to accept your gift without reservation. Lord, while I’m waiting for your blessing, I will serve you. And when I receive it, I will serve you. I will continue to serve you for as long as I am alive, and then forever.

Don’t get the mistaken impression from this entry that I waited with patience. I most certainly have bumps and bruises from playing the waiting game. I got frustrated with God over and over when every guy I met seemed to fall short of my expectations. I wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn’t seem to fall for any of the ones around me. I questioned God’s timing and methods countless times. But as I continued to read through my journal, filled with requests that were far greater than just character traits of my future husband, there was a theme that stuck out to me: God heard me.

As I read the journal of my almost 20-year-old self, I realized that most of the requests in there were things that I asked God for and then forgot about. But God didn’t forget. In some mysterious book of his own, he lovingly keeps every desire that ever comes out of the depths of my heart. What I can see now that I couldn’t see before is that the day after I made this request — probably even the moment that I made it — God set right to work in supplying my answer. While I can’t share the details of what God showed me that year or what he is showing me now, I can assure you that God’s plan is perfect. His plan is so much bigger than mine. As I await my answer, I long for the moment when everything that I asked for is made complete and given to me. I long for it not just for my own sake, but because there is a story that God is writing in my life that shows off his great love and faithfulness. I can’t wait until that story is ready to be shared. Until then, I will leave you with this word that God gave me later that year, because I believe this applies to you, my beautiful sister.

Do you know that I transcend your feelings? That I’m ALWAYS with you and ALWAYS thinking about you, even when you’re not thinking about me? Do you know that I love you, and I think you’re beautiful and cannot be replaced? Do you know that even if your friends desert you and no human being loves you, my love is still perfect? Did you know that I love you, even when you turn your back on me? That I test you because I love you? That you can ALWAYS trust me and that you could never make me tired of listening to you? That no matter how many mistakes you make, I will always take you back? That my plan is for your good, even if you can’t see past the mountain? That if you perservere, you will find me, and you will be astonished at how beautiful I am? Did you know that what I have in store for you is so wonderful, so mind-boggling, so fulfilling that it will make these short trials seem like nothing? You can’t even comprehend the beauty of my plan. So perservere. Seek my face. You will find what you are looking for, but it might not be what you expected. Hold on to the promises I showed you before. Love me with all your heart, soul, and mind. This is what you were created to do. Never forget how great is my love.

View all posts by

Lauren D'Alessandro
As the founder of The You Are Project’s print magazine and blog, Lauren is passionate about developing publications that inspire creativity and action. Lauren is the Editor-in-Chief of You Are REAL and the creator and manager of our website. Her dream is to continue using writing and publications as tools for communicating God’s love to the world. Keep up with her latest endeavors at laurendalessandro.com.
  • Catherine

    Negotiable? Not negotiable? Reminds me of the beach. :)

  • http://laurendalessandro.com Lauren

    I just now realized what you were referring to! That was an awesome day.

  • brianna

    loved this one!