I Knew You Were Trouble: What True Love REALLY Looks Like

Filed under Relationships Your Heart on Mar 07 13 by

When you last heard from me, I was a local beauty queen trying to make the point that beauty isn’t just on the outside. Since then, a few things have changed in my world. I had a birthday (21), changed jobs (back to retail), and have taken a brief (involuntary) hiatus from pageants. I’ve also found a new passion for using parentheses multiple times in the same sentence, apparently.

I’m going to let everyone in on a little secret: I almost let my lifelong goal of competing at state get sideswept by a boy. I know I can’t be the only one who’s been blinded by a nice smile, right? When he’d get jealous about what I was doing pageant-wise or school-wise, I brushed it off as, “Oh, he just really cares and wants to be important to me.” HOMEGIRL, NO! Love doesn’t do that.

You know how in fairy tales, the princess gets distracted or hurt, and then the fairy godmother comes in and guides her back? In this case, God was that “fairy godmother”. It started with a big fight with this boy over betraying my trust, and this urge from inside of me to just pray for peace, for guidance, for direction on how to handle it. That prayer led me to confiding in friends about all the cracks, and to developing a support system. For the first time, I felt like it was okay to talk about things in our relationship that weren’t good. And then when an even bigger fight happened, and that same boy was ripping me apart, I felt this sense of calm over me. A sense that I deserve a greater love. So I walked away. And prayed. Over and over again. I prayed that I would be led the right way, that I would make the right choices, and that I would never let myself fall for a mediocre love ever again—not when I had the greatest Author mastering my love story.

Love builds you up; it doesn’t tear you down. It’s your biggest cheerleader.

On Valentine’s Day, I found myself sitting next to the first friend I confided in—the one who was so instrumental to me finding a healthy love—at her church for a film festival on missions. It was one of those moments were I walked in thinking, “Okay, this is just going to be a few videos about people doing mission trips. I’ve been on them. Not a big deal.” But then we prayed, and my heart opened up. The church she goes to has a few mission trips for young married couples. When the videos played, it was like I had been hit with a brick. As I watched these couples interact, saw them beam as they shared their testimonies, and heard the husbands talk about how proud they were of their wives, it all made sense. Love builds you up; it doesn’t tear you down. It’s your biggest cheerleader.

It seems like last time I was able to leave you with this huge message. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not sure I have one this time. Just saying, “Don’t fall in love with boys who don’t support your dreams,” sounds obvious. But that’s what this all boils down to. You have to respect yourself and love yourself. After all, you were made by the ultimate Creator.

You have to respect yourself and love yourself. After all, you were made by the ultimate Creator.

If one day you look around and find you’ve gotten a little distracted by a silly boy, get back up, dust yourself off, and pray. Shoot me an email at owlsandlace@gmail.com if you need an ear. And don’t be afraid to jam to some break up songs—”Average Girl” by Barlow Girl, “Fearless” by Colbie Calliat, “Trouble” by Taylor Swift, and “Wishes”, by Superchick are my faves to blast in the car.

Anna Combrink writes about her life, pageants, beauty, and more at Owls and Lace.

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