The Two Sources of Self-Confidence: Where Does Yours Come From?

Filed under Self Worth Your Heart on Jan 19 13 by

One of our goals at The You Are Project is to help you beautiful ladies feel great about who you are and to recognize the beauty God has created in you. Self-confidence is an important piece of this goal—in order to feel useful and productive, a person must be confident, not focused on their insecurities and shortcomings.

In my own life, I’ve found that confidence can come from one of two sources. Your confidence will have a different impact on you and those around you depending on where it stems from. These two sources are pride and humility.

Confidence from Pride

This kind of confidence feels very good in the moment, but like a drug, it causes you to crave more and more, never feeling satisfied. This confidence is self-exalting, both in obvious and subtle ways. It keeps a record of achievements and strengths, and places others beneath itself. It turns the focus inward, making it difficult to care about others (unless, of course, it is enjoyable or beneficial to be around them).

BEWARE: This kind of confidence knows well how to masquerade as humility, especially when being praised. In my own life, I found the crack in my humility when I realized that though I credit God when I am complimented, I do not respond that way when I am criticized. In an effort to protect itself from hurt, pride puffs itself up when harsh words are spoken.

Finally, this kind of confidence is fragile. A failure, a loss, or a critical comment can send this confidence crashing to the ground.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. - Proverbs 16:18 NIV

Confidence from Humility

Confidence from humility must be tried by fire before it can be made complete. Humility is achieved by enduring momentary trials in order to achieve eternal joy and satisfaction.

This kind of confidence begins deep inside and then radiates through your entire countenance. Others will take notice. Despite the temporary pain, this confidence ultimately brings a feeling of lightness, as though a heavy weight has been lifted from the soul. It turns the focus outward, and desires more than anything to bring joy and light to others. The carrier of this confidence will feel beautiful, but she probably won’t think about it very often. She would rather let others enjoy her beauty and allow herself to find and cultivate the beauty in those around her.

This kind of confidence is rooted deeply in love. It brings freedom from fear, anxiety, insecurity, and hatred—both to the one who possesses it and to everyone they encounter. This confidence is life giving, and it breaks chains.

The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor. - Proverbs 15:33 NIV

Tomorrow morning when you get dressed—before you carefully style your hair, apply your makeup, and select the perfect outfit—be clothed first in humility.

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Lauren D'Alessandro
As the founder of The You Are Project’s print magazine and blog, Lauren is passionate about developing publications that inspire creativity and action. Lauren is the Editor-in-Chief of You Are REAL and the creator and manager of our website. Her dream is to continue using writing and publications as tools for communicating God’s love to the world. Keep up with her latest endeavors at